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"Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind...
Feed my will to feel this moment, urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come" -Tool







Thursday, September 8, 2011

It's Your Choice

Though part of me wishes I could say that things have settled down and I have it all figured out by now, I am accepting where I am and embracing it. Still on a path for a career that is rewarding and enjoyable. The deli thing was a great experience, and there still may be something there, but for now I am focusing on applications. That is, the GRE, internships, and jobs. I am giving myself a month to get all that not-so-fun stuff out of the way. Then I will reassess things and hopefully get employed. As for the relationship stuff, sure enough, my intuition was right about reuniting with an ex. It was good, but I was not myself, and it ended quickly. I do desire a relationship very much, but I must be myself and love myself for it to succeed. Lesson learned.

I can not be upset, down, and hard on myself for where I am. I truly believe things, events, people, experiences all come into our lives for a reason. I have learned so much about myself from all that I have been through. I would not trade those lessons for anything. So what are those lessons. Happiness is a choice. Thinking good things has a tremendous impact on personal wellbeing. That is why yoga and meditating is so important. Success usually requires a struggle and strength to get there. No "should ofs or should nots" about past events. Acceptance of where you are and always striving to improve. Personal love and acceptance. The importance of being with others and giving to others. Listening to your body. Be yourself. Be at peace.

I've been a passive member of the blogging community for over a year. I have read so many blogs and really enjoy it. I love the connection with people who have similar thoughts about health and wellness. I have learned so much from everyone. Its an amazing community. I think I may start posting a bit, to connect even deeper.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Ananda


I've recently learned that "ananda" in sanskrit means "Bliss". I find this very cool, as my own name is similar and finding "bliss" is one of the ultimate goals of yoga and life. I like that my name closely resembles the sanskrit term and each time I think of this it helps to continue on my path to bliss.

Of course, too much time has passed since my last post. Not gonna lie, its been a little rough, but there have been some amazing blessings along the way. "Sometimes its rough, sometimes its gentle, but its never anything I can not handle." This lame quote I made up takes me back to the beach in Grenada. Yes, Grenada! I participated in a two week intensive program to become a Certified Yoga Teacher. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. First of all, the setting, La Luna, was beyond beautiful. The training itself, not only taught me more about yoga, but also, a lot about myself. Something I desperately needed. To recap some of the many lessons I took away from this trip...the Ashtanga sequence, my love and need for yoga, to stop doubting myself, my ability, and my dreams, to stop comparing myself to others, impermance and nonattachment, present moment, energies of everything, loving myself, letting go, and breathing! I still think the song lateralus sums it all up...I love Tool!

So, back to the here and now. The craziness that was my relationships this past summer and fall has completely faded away....I am certain this calmness is for me to have time to figure things out and most importantly figure me out. I am bound and determined to enter my next relationship as only myself.

Career...hmmmm, still a rough patch, but I do believe I am on the right path. And as long as I am moving in the right direction, that is all that matters!! Hopefully will be the manager of a healthy deli, getting things in line for an internship (finally), and keeping an open mind.

My love for baking and cooking is still strong and my skills are improving. As is my realtionship with food. I am desperately trying to change my internal dialouge of telling myself I am fat, cause I am not. In trying to live out the lessons I learned in Grenada, that I need to learn to love myself, I tell myself I am beautiful. I am trying very hard to eat more intuitively, based on what I am truly craving from the standpoint of what my body needs for nourishment. I eat as healthy and delicious as possible and try hard to do this only for nourishment of the body...not boredom, deppression, or emptyiness. In this way, I can have a great relationship with food with no guilt attached to the fabulous Banana Split Pancakes I just made and devoured and truley enjoyed every single bite.

Recipe: Blissful Banana Split Pancakes
.25 cup buckwheat flour
.25 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanila
.5 cup (plus more) almond milk
Toppings:
.5 banana
.5 TBSP strawberry preserve
.5 TBSP peanut butter
Sprinkle of coconut and chocolate chips
Spoonful of Peanut butter, chocolate, maple ganache
Topped with a cherry

With that, I feel so very content. I shall take this contentment with me throughout the afternoon. May I be content with myself, my actions, and my thoughts.